“Our Daily Bread”   

http://odb.org/2012/12/02/we-need-hope/

The Daily Devotions of Greg Laurie                                  

http://www.harvest.org/devotional/daily-devotions/home.ht 

I posted this testimony by a member of God’s group and friend of mine over 3 years ago, who will remain anonymous.  I believe that she is now living for the Lord, with every breath she takes…

Love in Christ,

Bruce

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Before you put on your rose colored spectacles remember that only the one without sin among us can cast a stone:

I wanted to share something with you, of how God can change your life if you just ask, but it may not be over night.

I was active in my church as a teen, but I slipped away somehow over my adult years. I prayed sometimes and would try different churches but I never really gave my life to God until a few weeks ago. About 2 1/2 years ago my life was a mess, to say the least. I guess it started going downhill about 5 years ago; it started when my now, ex husband pulled my security blanket out from under me and our marriage fell apart. It was never easy for us but at that point I knew I couldn’t stay with him any longer. I found out he had sexually assaulted my 15 year old cousin who never told anyone for over a year. I couldn’t look at him without becoming ill. He was about 36 at the time. At this point in our lives we had already been dealing with a lot in our marriage and I quit wanting to forgive and love, I chose to be angry and hurt and hate. Not too long after this he went to Iraq and when he left I was so happy. I didn’t cry at all, part of me was wishing I would never see him again even if it meant he died, my heart was so cold where he was concerned. Hate and anger can change a person.

I went from being a Tupperware selling, minivan driving, ponytail, softball /t-ball mom, to a partying all night and sleeping most of the day mom. My poor children lost their mom for a long time. It started slow one night, out drinking. I had a blast. My problems, my hate, my anger, gone and the bliss of alcohol took over. I was happy, dancing, and singing. But that night ended and the hangover kicked in. I had to call in sick and this is where I started my downward spiral. I partied on weekends at first, then it started creeping into my weekdays, I lost my job that I loved. But I just partied more. This went on for several months, 6 or so.

Then I had a scare after I spent the night with a guy whose girlfriend was pretty much a prostitute, and the condom broke. I was so scared I would get HIV; I called my mom crying, asking her to pray for me. After that I calmed down for a while. About 6 months later my old office manager’s father died. I took her a card and she wanted to hire me back part time, for which I was grateful and happy. I took the job. It went well for a while. Then, they hired a girl I will call Lynne, which is not her real name. Well, we hit it off because we are so much alike. We started spending lots of time together. She was also friends with another girl I use to work with. So we started going out again but these girls didn’t only drink, they used cocaine too. I wouldn’t touch it at first. It scared me, but soon one night peer pressure kicked in and I tried it. I didn’t really like it but I didn’t die so it was all good. Every weekend we partied and that meant cocaine use. It gets worse; the people you associate with are just lost souls like we were, living for the moment. Let’s just say the things you will do when you use drugs have no limits. I broke the law in so many ways. One night I could have gone to prison for several years. Mercifully, I didn’t get caught. I believe only God kept me out of trouble that night. The people I was associated with probably would have had us killed, had we been arrested. This became very clear to me later.

I hit rock bottom 2 1/2 years ago. I was going to bars, often sleeping around, doing drugs, and not being a good mother at all. Thank goodness I have a mother who prayed for me. One morning I had been up all night doing cocaine and my mom called me to ask me to bring her some things to feed my kids breakfast. I took them to her house and she was baking my kids’ biscuits and making eggs, and the kids were in the shower. Even in my state of mind at the time, I felt 1000 lbs of guilt slam down on me. I should have been at home making my babies food and getting them ready for school.

That night I started praying for God to help me change my life. I knew I was so wrong for what I was doing, but I didn’t stop. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant and I was scared but glad. Now I had a reason to stand up to peer pressure (at 30)! I stopped hanging out with my group of negative friends. I ended up having a miscarriage in Jan 07, but by March I was pregnant again. God saved my life by blessing me with my baby. I didn’t care enough about myself to change, but with a baby inside me I couldn’t do harm to my body by doing drugs. After becoming pregnant, I started to be a better mom to my kids and I got a new job (I had lost my other one for missing too much work) and God has continued to bless me. I am still a work in process, but in the last few months I have really come a long way. I have not only given my life to God, I have fallen in love with Him.
This is my past for which I am so very ashamed, but God never left me. Here I am alive and blessed. There are some gaps in my story but the important things are there.
I hope if someone reading this has a loved one who is lost, they will pray daily and know God can, and will deliver people from the depths of lies, drugs, and sex. Whatever it may be, God doesn’t want to lose his children and through prayer, God can and does change lives. He saved mine… all I had to do was ask him to.