Fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Don’t worry,

Don’t be afraid,

It’s going to be fine,

Fear not….

How many times have you said those words to someone or even verbalized them to yourself?  We all go through times of fear and worry.  It’s all part of our human make up.  Still its difficult to imagine being out in the middle of nowhere, tending a flock of sheep, when suddenly the heavens are brightened by one single star and hosts of angels join in amazing songs.  Picture yourself being confronted by the angel of God – an actual messenger from heaven – and gaining your composure instantly.  I think the natural inclination would be to be scared out of our wits.

The idea of heavenly visions might seem like hallucinations.or being in another zone or space.  It’s almost unworldly, but the fear remains.  If I as approached by a heavenly being in the middle of a nothing kind of day, my first inclination is not to say, “Hi, angel of God, how’s it going?”  I’d be scared to death, just like most normal human beings are when confronted with the unknown.

It’s funny how God uses these confrontations to actually calm an individual and give them the strength they need to go through what lies ahead.  Zachariah was going about his duties in the temple when the angel approached him to reveal that his wife would bear a son in her old age.  Daniel was protected by an angel when thrown into the lion’s den.  Moses heard the voice of God as he was directed to approach pharaoh and take his people out of slavery.  An angel appeared to Joseph and Mary as they were told that Mary would have a son and He would be called Immanuel.  During each of those encounters, the angel or God Himself would utter the words, “Do not be afraid.”

In our human way of thinking, we would wonder what was going on.  We might think we’re crazy or had a bit too much wine, or we’re simply overworked, but if we were in the presence of God and His holy angels, it would be difficult not to be afraid.

Still those words of consolation and encouragement allow us to accept what is about to happen without question.  I think that’s what God wants from us – complete submission and dependence on Him.  Of course He’s given us a free will.  We can still make our own decisions and feel the natural fear that comes along with such and event.  Fear gets the adrenaline pumping and you have the energy to complete God’s plan for your life.

When we tell our children not to be afraid, we’re assuring them that,

we have their backs,

we love them and don’t want to see them suffer,

we wish to give them confidence in their own abilities, but also remind them who is in their midst and in charge.

God in his wisdom and might, does the same thing for all of us.

If we remember that God is in complete control of our destiny, we have absolutely nothing to fear.  As the perfect Father, we know that He will never let us down.  Even though the situation may be difficult to understand, we know that our God is at our side and will never forsake us.  Don’t be afraid.  God has this!

Here’s the crazy thing. I’m using words to explain something that’s non-verbal. I’m talking about joy. Our “joy center” or joy receptor, if you will, resides in the right side of our brain (technically, the right orbital prefrontal cortex), which is the non-verbal part. Words may lead us to joy, but joy itself can only be experienced. 

Where we experience joy, where our brain thinks about what is “me,” is not formed at birth. This part of the brain gets developed during the first 24 months of the baby’s bonding process as the mother bonds with the child through smell, taste, temperature regulation, touch, visual, voice tone, which are all non-verbal. As Dr. Wilder said in his lecture “Developing Joy Strength“:

“All of this is interpreted on the right side of the brain. And words are interpreted on the left side of the brain. If you’ve ever heard someone say to you, “It wasn’t what you said but the tone of your voice…”, what they are saying is that our voice tone didn’t make them feel that you were glad to be with them. Bonding is based on voice tone (or sparkle in our eye), not on words.  This is the only thing that motivates children under one year old. This is the difference between the left and right brain interpretation.”

You’ve probably heard about studies done concluding that most communication is non-verbal. The popular figure quoted is that 93% of communication is non-verbal. Regardless of the actual number, these studies, along with our understanding of where joy effects the brain, made me think about how God usually communicates with me. It’s usually a split-second impression of inspiration which I will attempt to put words to afterward, oftentimes very inadequately.

So, I wonder, did God actually download words into my verbal left-brain or did He simply impress something in my right-brain “joy center” and I attempted to use words to describe the experience after the fact? I would say upon reflection that the latter oftentimes seems more true. Now, I believe God can use actual words to communicate with us, but I think the deepest and most inspirational things are non-verbal because our identity and joy centers are much deeper and non-verbal in nature (more on that next time).  As the psalmist tells us….

¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (Psalm 16:11 NIV)

This is also why the Bible text cannot simply be read to be properly understood. We must undergo Scripture. In other words, we let the Bible study us by applying it to our hearts which is brings about revelation and leads to our transformation.

⁶ For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. (2 Cor.4:6 NKJV)

So, my point is this: joy must be experienced. You will not know the fullness of joy and pleasure found in the presence of the Lord unless you’ve actually opened your heart to the possibility and pursued it until it becomes your experience. As Paul said, it’s with the heart one believes. It’s only afterward that we use words to confess what we already know to be true.

¹⁰ The heart that believes in him receives the gift of the righteousness of God—and then the mouth gives thanks to salvation. (Rom.10:10 TPT)

Ephesians 5:21-33

With these verses, Paul moves from the general instruction about a Christian’s life to a more specific instruction, beginning with the relationship of marriage, a subject that he writes about in more than one letter, as you know. To be perfectly honest, these aren’t my favorite topics to blog about, for it’s easy to get the wrong impression about where this is headed; a post on this text tends to run a bit long as a result; even so, let’s try the short version today.

The main point to keep in mind as you read this, (ladies in particular) is that the relationship between husband and wife isn’t even Paul’s main point. Gentlemen, I think it is also very important that we recognize right off, that historical and cultural attitudes of the past might color our view of some of this, for over the centuries in male dominated societies, our forefathers sometimes ignored the rules of context here, preferring to seize upon certain verses to impose upon their wives some pretty idiotic ideas, ideas that are entirely in opposition to Paul’s teaching.

Yep, one of these days, I’ll do a series of posts, maybe a whole book on Biblical marriage; that’s probably what it would take to it justice. Biblical teachings on marriage aren’t what most people think they are, at least in my view, for they are always really about our relationships with God more than anything else.

Context: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (verse 21) Did you catch “to one another”?

Verses 22-24 are historically our favorite verses in the entire Bible to quote out of context: Yes sir, wives should submit to their husbands in everything! Ladies, please bear in mind that I usually refer to my wife as “She Who Must Be Obeyed”! Paul is using a cultural attitude from the first century Roman Empire to illustrate the relationship between Christ, represented here by husbands, and the church, represented by wives. He is not authorizing husbands to mistreat their wives, for that would be a violation of the marriage covenant.

Verses 25-31 are instructions to husbands, who are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church… “and gave Himself up for her.” Jesus gave up His very life on the cross for the church, and likewise, Paul is telling husbands they should give up their very lives for their wives. Most of the time, husbands don’t need to give up their physical lives for their wives, no it’s more like their will, ambitions and “self”. Thus, for a preacher to teach, and a Christian husband to assert domination over wives is purely a perversion of the text.

Wives give up self by submission, husbands give up self by devotion, and the result is a partnership, not domination; everybody wins.

Consider this: Isn’t this what we’ve been saying all along? Giving up self and serving others? Sounds like love doesn’t it?

The final two verses were seldom quoted in days gone by, and they aren’t always mentioned now either:

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:32-33

You see, this whole conversation is about Christ and the church; marriage is supposed to be the illustration of that relationship, an illustration that we all recognize and understand, but thanks to the sinful nature of this world, it requires a lot more explaining than perhaps it used to in Paul’s day.

Oh yes, and by the way, husbands really should love their wives as they love themselves, and wives really should respect their husbands.