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Written by Michael Nicholas to grow on purpose @ http://www.michaelnichols.org/

Original post @ http://www.michaelnichols.org/6-things-i-learned-from-critics/?utm_content=buffer13dd3&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

6 Things I Learned from Critics
I really don’t like to be criticized. A single criticism can ruin my entire day. I often wonder how someone so thin-skinned ended up in administration.

Dan Rockwell once said: Criticism is something you can avoid – by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.

Is that what you really want?

Recently, I was thinking about criticism and about how often I am faced with it – daily!

Over the years I have benefited significantly from criticism. In fact, I am a better dad, a better husband, a better professional, a better leader… because of my interaction with critics.

Here are six things I have learned from critics:

1. Not all personal criticism is personal. I know. This statement sounds contradictory. But many personal attacks take place because the critic is dealing with his or her own problems. We are often unaware of the circumstances and deep hurt others are experiencing. Growing leaders take time to stop, listen, and experience the feelings of others.

2. A quick response is usually ill-advised. Although I’m working on improving my response to criticism, I occasionally react without much thought. I do better to say less rather than more. When I speak quickly to a critic, it is usually an emotional response that I regret later. I’m learning to keep quiet although it’s not easy.

3. Criticism helps me to become a better person and a better leader. Often the remarks cause me to look in the mirror, and occasionally I don’t like what I see. I have learned that I do not grow, my team does not grow, and the institution does not grow if everyone agrees with me all the time.

You may have noticed that occasionally I wear my emotions on my sleeve – criticism almost always hurts me. Believe it or not, sometimes the pain is more than I can handle. I have to turn criticism over to God, or it will consume my mind – and affect my productivity and ability to lead effectively. Critics help refine me. They help me to be a better person, though the process is always painful.

4. Criticism keeps me from criticizing others. I know the pain of criticism. I know the hurt that comes when a critic comes after me with an unfounded accusation – or a founded accusation for that matter. I don’t like that pain – and I am reminded of this when I am tempted to criticize others.

5. Consider the source. Some people are just negative. I made a decision that I am not going to spend time with negative people. While some critics should be heard, many should not.

6. Sometimes the critic is right. Since I am a relatively sensitive guy, it’s painful to be criticized. But occasionally my pain is compounded by the fact that I needed the criticism – because it addresses an area where I need to grow. An ancient scripture reminds us, Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but one who hates correction is stupid.

So criticize me, but don’t call me stupid. Criticism hurts. But it often presents an opportunity to grow.

Question: What’s one thing you’ve learned from your critics? Leave a comment below.