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Written by Pastor Jim Lee for “The Domain for Truth” @ veritasdomain.wordpress.com

Original post @ https://veritasdomain.wordpress.com/2023/09/26/four-kinds-of-parents-part-1-introduction-and-goal/

Four Kinds of Parents Part 1: Introduction and Goal

September 26, 2023 by SLIMJIM

Photo by nappy on Pexels.com

Establish the need: What kind of parent are you before God?

Purpose: There are four kinds of parents we can be. In this session, we will go over the following three points as an introduction and cover the kind of parent we want to be so that we can pursue the goal of being a godly parent.

1. Introduction: The Four Kinds of Parents
2. How to figure out what kind of parent you are
3. The Goal: Godly Parent

Introduction: The Four Kinds of Parents

Here are the four kinds of Parents:

1. Godly Parent
2. Pharisaical Parent
3. Permissive Parent
4. Neglecting Parent

A Christian Parent can struggle and have at times done things that reflect being these four types of parents.

How to figure out what kind of parent you are

Note: I have this as a section because I believe at times some bad parents haven’t realized the problem is their own bad parenting. So finding out and believing the truth is important!

How to find out:

1. Review the description and signs of each kind of parent for this session and the next session.
2. Ask your spouse; your wife or husband who is your help mate!
3. Ask a close friend who will tell you the truth: “Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. 6  Faithful are the wounds of a friend,  But 1deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” (Proverbs 27:5-6)
4. Ask your children
5. Ask your pastor
6. Consider what kind of parental style did you have growing up[1]
   1. This can be your influence and example.
   2. Also sometimes a parent can see the problem of their own parents but they go to the opposite extreme.
7. Pray to God to show you what kind of parent you are.[2]It is biblical to pray in this way: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts”       (Psalm 139:23)
   1. If bad parenting is a sin, we should pray to God to search and reveal what our heart is like so we can repent and seek God’s help.
   2. Among all the people you can seek to find out who you are as a parent, only God knows everything about you including your intentions and motives and all that you have done; why wouldn’t you pray to God?

The Goal: Godly Parent

Proof

A Godly Parent focuses on Holiness and Love for their children

1. First off, a Godly parent should be loving: “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)
   1. The command to love one another is for all Christians as we see that from this verse!
   2. Yet shouldn’t a Christian also be loving towards not just other Christians in the church, but also to their children.
2. A Parent disciplining his or her child for the purpose of holiness is biblical: “For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.” (Hebrews 12:10)
   1. We will be looking at Hebrews 12 frequently in this session because the chapter is on God’s discipline of believers using the analogy of the discipline of human fathers.
   2. Here the verse tells us that there are benefits to discipline from human fathers.
   3. The Greek word translated here as “disciplined” is παιδεύω.
      1. It is used in the Greek translation of the Old Testament and mostly used to translate the Hebrew verb יסר which means “instruct.”[3]
      2. We see the same Greek verb παιδεύω used in Hebrews 12:10 is used in Proverbs 13:24 to translate the Hebrew verb יסר where it is clear the idea of the verb is physical discipline: “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Proverbs 13:24).[4]
      3. Even within the context of Hebrews, physical discipline is implied since this is talking about responses to children’s sins.[5]
   4. Yet this verse also acknowledges that human fathers are finite in perspective and fallible, in that they can only discipline the children only “as seemed best to them.”[6]
   5. God’s discipline though is always the best, and notice what is God’s goal of disciplining His children: “so that we may share His holiness.”
   6. So if we are going to do what is truly the best for our children we not only discipline them but discipline them for the goal of holiness!

Further description of this kind of family with these kinds of parents:[7]

1. While not perfect this home points to God.
2. This home is safe, stable and secure.

Since this kind of parent has both a relationship and rules with their children here are the results of this kind of parenting:[8]

1. Parents have fellowship with their children
2. Christ-like Examples for Children
3. Grace being practiced in the family

Practice

1. Do you desire to be a Godly Parent?
2. Do you work on being a parent who is loving towards your child?
3. Do you discipline your child? Do you discipline your child consistently?
4. Do what you learn from God’s Word, whether your own reading or teaching at church, impact your life in a way that you are pursuing being a more godly parent?
5. Do you pray to God to be a Godly Parent?
6. Do you ask for prayers to be a Godly Parent?

[1] Point is from Robert W. Kellemen, Gospel-Centered Family Counseling (Grand Rapids: Baker Publishing Group, 2000), 235 of 1101. However, the following subpoints are my own.

[2] Point is from Robert W. Kellemen, Gospel-Centered Family Counseling (Grand Rapids: Baker Publishing Group, 2000), 235 of 1101. However, the following subpoints are my own.

[3] Georg Bertram, “παιδεύω παιδεία παιδευτής ἀπαίδευτος παιδαγωγός” Dictionary of the New Testament, (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing, 1964), 5:604.

[4] G. Johnannes Botterweck, “יָסַר מוּסָר” Dictionary of the Old Testament, (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing, 1974), 6:129.

[5] Georg Bertram, “παιδεύω παιδεία παιδευτής ἀπαίδευτος παιδαγωγός” Dictionary of the New Testament, (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing, 1964), 10:256.

[6] David L. Allen, Hebrews (New American Commentary) (Nashville, Tennessee: B&H Publishing Group, 2010), 582.

[7] Robert W. Kellemen, Gospel-Centered Family Counseling (Grand Rapids: Baker Publishing Group, 2000), 230-231 of 1101.

[8] Robert W. Kellemen, Gospel-Centered Family Counseling (Grand Rapids: Baker Publishing Group, 2000), 223 of 1101.

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To my brothers and sisters in Christ, please feel free to share this message of the cross with those in need…

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